What Is Love?

Is it possible to put one of the most intense feelings you have ever experienced in a single sentence? Each one of us has a different definition of love. For some it means possession and others view it as a purely physical experience. Some ladies measure love with the diamonds they get and for some gentlemen love means a tasty dinner on the table every night. For me, love goes deeper and means much more. It is free of expectations and we cannot help but spreading it further when we discover its true meaning.

I personally do not know what love is. My type of love could be always ugly. Easy but ugly. Not because of the people ugly. To me, when it comes to a relationship, it does not matter if it is with family, friends or even with a partner, you are passed the sweet and honeymoon stage. The rehearsed answers and questions. With the perfect hair, the perfect outfit and your masks are off.

In order to discover what love means to me, I should start by defining the things that love is not.

  • Love is never associated with the desire to possess the object of our emotions. We love them for who they really are, we do not want to consume their freedom and make them miserable because of our own jealousy. Loving someone does not grant us the right to possess them. We should be happy and proud of the person’s success and cheer them to achieve the greatest goals even if the events go against the image we have about the future.
  • Love means having no expectations. I do not expect people to love me back just because I love them. The feelings of joy and happiness this emotion brings are the biggest reward I could ever get. Even a mother’s heart is not pure when she expects her child to become the person she imagined he/she would be, but is disappointed when the child decides to take another path in life.
  • Love means providing complete support and inspiring the person to become a better human being. When loving someone unconditionally, their happiness is our happiness too.
  • Love to me is always pure, authentic and when I am being anything but natural.When I get exposed, open its embracing the natural stage. Where I can be completely myself without fear.

So what is my personal definition of love? Love is an emotion that cannot be defined with words. It is something defined by actions. It means caring for someone so deeply that we try not to change him/her, but to transform ourselves into persons worth loving. True love is not limited to a single person. The love towards someone is really special, but inspires us to love and understand the entire world as well. Not saying there won’t be any ups and downs as love cannot be forced. No one is going to remember me for eternity. Just be my best self at all times. Loving someone means I do not have to look like someone to love them. As long as I maintain my relationships with all the people I love, that’s all that matters.

And if you have the ability to love, love yourself first…..
Ching Yee

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